The Elf has Landed

Nothing marks the passage of time more obviously than the growth of children from one year to the next, as I learned this morning when my 6-year old exclaimed “O.M.G.!!” when she saw where the Elf on the Shelf landed this morning.

May your holidays be filled with traditions, new and old, that bring laughter and joy.

Chair Envy

Did I ever mention I have a thing for chairs?  I love funky, fun, whimsical, strange, bizarre chairs.

When you’re in the throes of digestion after your sumptuous Thanksgiving feast, imagine collapsing into or onto one of these.  Enjoy!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Halloweenawaiting

Halloween is coming, and I’m getting excited!  Here are some cool things I’ve come across recently that are getting me into the Halloween mood.

Skulls and quilts, oh my!

A new take on quilts, and skulls, from Boo Davis over at Quiltsryche

A lovely line of monster supplies comes to us from the Hoxton Street Monster Supplies store in London.  (It’s really a front for the Ministry of Stories.  After squeeing with glee over the jars of guts and garlic chutney and zombie fresh mints, check out their mission.  It’s a pretty cool thing they’re doing.)

Served best on toast at room temperature (gross!!)

Canned Fear

When yelling fire in a theatre is just not enough

cool door knocker

Doesn't every suburban dwelling need one of these? They're not just for castles anymore!

More Canned Fear

A little more subtle than the escalating panic. The perfect enhancer for the moment when you've just opened the door to your basement, but haven't yet switched on the light.

A crow and a raven got together and made a craven. It was very romantic, I assure you.

This was one of the things that popped up when I put “steampunk wallpaper” into my google search.  Cool, kindof creepy, gears, insects, sci-fi….oh, Halloween, how I love thee!!!!

I Was Kicked Out of a Furniture Store

Be nice.

Is that so hard to do?  One of my best, longest-running clients told me that this is one of the few mantras she teaches her children: “BE NICE!”

Yesterday, I was kicked out of a furniture store.  My mother and I went to see a very cool dining table she was considering purchasing for her home, and since I’m a designer, she wanted my opinion on it before taking the plunge.  This was a vintage wood table, with interesting carvings around the apron, and it had a unique extension mechanism that allowed you to lengthen the table from both ends.

I would show you a picture of it, but this shop doesn’t allow cameras or video-taping (a SUPER pet-peeve of mine), which is another reason why my mother had to bring me over there to see it.

The shopkeeper was unsmiling when we first walked in (in retrospect, not a good sign, but I try not to make snap judgments), and as soon as my mother asked him if he could show me how the extension mechanism worked, not only did he refuse, but he became immediately nasty toward us.  I’ll save you from an exact play-by-play of his comments, but after a couple of seconds of his increasing anger, I asked him, “Why are you being so hostile to us?”

This apparently served only to make him lose his temper completely, but hey, I’m not going to take abuse.  If you’ve got a bad attitude toward me, I want to know why.  He yelled at us to get out of his store, we were rude to him; he refuses to sell anything to us, just leave immediately!

To say we were baffled is an understatement.  We hadn’t done anything wrong or acted rudely in any way.  I had never even been in this shop before, and my mother’s previous experience with this same man, about this same table, had been cordial, pleasant, no problem.

But by that time, instead of continuing to try and analyze what we could have possibly done to make this guy so mad, we started to get defensive and angry in return.  As he shouted at us to leave, I said “Who is the owner here?”  To which he leaped up from his desk, came at me with his chest puffed out, and screamed at me within inches of my face, “I AM THE OWNER HERE!!  I AM THE OWNER!  DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!!  GET OUT!!”

I really was curious and astonished, and I like to understand things (and people), so I looked at him quizzically and said, “Why?”  I mean, really, I had every intention of leaving at that point anyway, and I told my mother later on that I don’t care how much you like that table, don’t you DARE give that maniac a dime, but I was so confused and curious about the bizarro world I had just entered, I couldn’t help but ask.  Pointless, I know.  You can’t argue rationally with crazy people.

My snarky and cynical inner voice said, “Dude, did you forget to take your pill today?”  But of course, I would never say that to someone’s face, because….I’m nice.  Dammit.  I also have a little roaring, vengeful sprite banging around inside my head saying, tell them the name of the store, Tammy, tell them where it is, so everyone can go leave steaming bags of poo outside his door and spam his Facebook page into oblivion. But I’m not going to do that, because…I’m nice!  Dammit!  And I believe in karma.

We learned a few minutes later, at one of the other vintage stores within the same cluster of shops, that this guy acts that way regularly and throws people out of his shop in a fit of rage all the time.

How does he stay in business?

A better question might be:  why has he chosen this particular type of business when he clearly has a severe lack of civility and maturity, and lacks the coping skills for dealing with the public in a sales setting?

I’m a designer, but everything I do is sales.  I sell ideas, products, and my “self” all day long.  What about your profession?  You may think you’re not really in a service industry, but if any part of what you do requires convincing someone to go along with it, then I’ve got news for you: you’re in sales too.

As a designer, I shop for furniture and other items a lot.  Sometimes with my clients, but most of the time, alone.  If you’re in the business of selling furniture or home goods of any sort, from a showroom, or retail store in particular, there are certain expectations I have to help you make a sale, to me, and by extension, my customers.  And that’s what we all want, right?  Commerce makes the world go ‘round, does it not?

The “no cameras or video-taping” rule needs to go.  That immediate lack of trust from the moment a potential customer walks in the door sets a negative tone right from the get-go.  With the quantity of items that I look at every day to put together a scheme, I need picture references of everything.  If your item is unique or one-of-a-kind (like an antique), and it’s not possible or convenient to come into the store over and over, how can I sell it?  If my client sees something they want to run by me, and the shop won’t let them snap a picture, then you have just wasted my time and my client’s time.  What are you so afraid of?  That someone will “shop” you?  That is not news.  People do that all the time; it’s not a crime.  But they’re more likely to come back and buy from you if you make it easy and you’re not a jerk.

Expect people to want to touch things and see how they work, especially if they actually do something, like open and close, extend and retract, raise and lower, whatever.  If you’re not comfortable with the customers doing it themselves, then please show them yourself, willingly, with a smile on your face, and not disgust and annoyance.

Be generous with samples and keep them free.  I realize this is not always possible when you’re dealing with vintage or antique items, which is why photos are so important.  But for product showrooms and stores, like fabric, tile, paint, etc, this is vitally important.  Does it increase the cost of business?  Yes, it does.  Samples are expensive to make and keep on hand, but if I can’t show it to my client, I can’t sell it. And if you make it cost me to obtain your samples, I’ll go somewhere else.

And lastly, BE NICE.  Dealing with people is hard.  They can be ornery, obnoxious, rude, condescending, the list goes on.  If you have little-to-no-patience and a short fuse, find a back room to work in, and spare the rest of us your assholery.

Well, it felt good to get that off my chest.

What about you?  Do you have a story to share?  Instead of retelling all the tales of the endless Neanderthals out there, let’s keep it positive and hear some stories about the best buying experiences you’ve ever had.

Peace!

Get a life…style?

Can lifestyles be changed like a pair of shoes?

There is no cookie-cutter solution for you.  You cannot buy a “lifestyle” out of a box, no matter how much you want to.  And isn’t that a good thing, anyway?

We’re all slobs, with messy kids, and big ol’ lazy streaks.  Perhaps you have the wherewithal or the extra cash needed to hire someone to clean up after you, but let’s stop kidding ourselves about this and acknowledge how we really live – what are you willing to do for yourself, and what do you know in your heart of hearts that you will not do?  Stop feeling ashamed, but please, please, especially:

Stop buying silk rugs when you have naughty little dogs.

Brighten up your lighting

Do you have a dark room that doesn’t get enough natural light?  Besides using light colors and mirrors (carefully with the mirrors) to reflect and bounce more light around, here is something else to try. 

Keep your lamp shades white. 

White lamp shades will help brighten and disperse the light from your fixtures more effectively.

Design Thought for the Day

If you’ve been blessed with “plant shelves,” one of those fabulous architectural details all the rage with builders in the 1990’s, you may be tempted to put accessories junk up there.

Please fight this urge!  Not all shelves must be filled.  There is nothing worse than crappy vignettes of decorative plates and bottles and plastic ivy trailing down from “display ledges.”

Tell me what you think.  What are some other terrible architectural details you’ve had to work around?

Design Thought for the Day

A watched soft-close toilet seat never closes. ~ New American proverb

Design Thought for the Day

Good design matters and it requires patience.  Patience to “create, fashion, execute, and construct according to a plan.” (~Webster’s)  Behind every beautifully designed space lies a Brain Storm of creativity, deep-probing inquiry, and mettle.

Expensive, exotic, or rare materials do not equal Good Design.  Don’t cheap out on the brain power required for Good Design, because no matter how expensive or high-quality the materials: garbage in, garbage out.

Master Bathroom Renovation

It’s a Winner!

Update (posted February 9, 2011):
At the end of the voting period on February 7th, my project earned one of the top three winning spots in the America’s Ugliest Bathrooms: Solved contest, sponsored by www.daily5remodel.com and American Standard.  My sincerest thanks to ALL of you for rallying behind me in my effort to win.  I couldn’t have done it without you.

The importance of a well-functioning and beautiful bathroom cannot be overstated.  These rooms are the closest thing we have in our western culture to a meditation room, where all of our most personal and private “business” takes place, and you commune with water and your true, exposed humanness.  It’s the one room in your house where there is absolutely no guilt involved with locking the door and firmly keeping out your partner, your children, your pets, and your worries.

And there is nothing more disheartening and stressful than an old, rusty, crumbling, and dirty, leaky, and ugly bathroom.

In January, I entered one of my bathroom projects in a contest on the website Daily 5 Remodel.  Here it is; a great space for a great couple.  They lived with a non-descript plain jane Master Bathroom for many years until a leak and some mold remediation convinced them it was time to renovate the room completely.

The results were stunning.  They’re so happy and I’m so proud to have helped them design the bathroom they didn’t even realize they were dreaming about.

 Porcelain & glass tile combined in new shower   Custom bathroom storage

Close up of shower renovation   Custom vanity cabinetry- Master Bathroom

You can see my contest entry here.  There were so many wonderful bathroom remodels featured; I encourage you to look at them all and vote for the one you think was the best transformation from ugly to fabulous.

Voting starts today and runs through February 7, 2011.  Please vote!

And special thanks to Leah Thayer at Daily 5 Remodel for including me!