Mother’s Day Wishes

One of the most rewarding activities I’ve participated in recently (this past March) was the Cattle Baron’s Ball of Martin County, Florida.  Now, growing up as a suburbanite in Fort Lauderdale for most of my life, the concept of something called a Cattle Baron’s Ball was a bit alien to me.  Let me explain.  The Cattle Baron’s Ball is a signature gala event for the American Cancer Society.  It’s a hoity-toity fundraising event without the hoity-toity part.  It’s a country-western, boot-stomping, barn-dancing affair where everyone dons their fanciest western-wear and parties to raise money for cancer research, advocacy, and patient services.

I was new in town and a friend of mine invited me to join the planning committee.  I thought, what better way to meet people and participate in a good cause?  I hadn’t owned a pair of cowboy boots since I left Omaha in 1980, and this sounded like fun.  Being the only designer on our committee, I was put in charge of the decorations, and so it began.

Back up to September 2010.

This is my friend, Susan.

Susan and I were high school friends.  I snapped this picture during our 10-year reunion in 1997, which was the last time I saw Susan in person.  When I finally jumped on the Facebook bandwagon, Susan and I found each other again, much to my delight.  I remembered Susan for her easy-going manner, her sardonic wit and humor, and her incredible intelligence.  She was determined to become an archeologist when we were teenagers, and as it happened, she ended up getting a PhD in Sports History, marrying a great guy named Rob, and having three beautiful kids.  We reconnected in August 2010, and in September 2010 she gave us devastating news: she was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer.

Fast-forward a year to 2011. My family and I had moved to a new town, we were busy with work, school, and new house issues, and I began planning decorations for the Cattle Baron’s Ball.  Susan and I kept in touch on Facebook, and I followed the chronicles of her illness as she posted about it on her Caring Bridge webpage.  All throughout the previous year, she spoke positively, optimistically, and with her characteristic humor about chemotherapy, surgery, dying her hair purple before it fell out, and the Future.  Her Future- a certainty, a sure thing.

I met lots of people, wonderful people, working on the planning committee.  People who had survived cancer or lost family members to cancer, children and teenagers still battling it, and cancer doctors that are certain- CERTAIN- we will cure cancer and have a cancer vaccine in the next 15 to 20 years; definitely, they believe, within our lifetimes.  But Triple Negative Breast Cancer is a particularly nasty beast, and by September 2011 Susan’s posts had changed.  Things weren’t going well and her prognosis wasn’t good.  Her Future was now certain, but in a totally different way, and even though I understood on an intellectual level what was happening, I really didn’t believe that cancer would take her…until it did, a few short months later.

Susan passed away two weeks before the Cattle Baron’s Ball, and my participation in that event took on a whole new meaning for me.  Our ball went off without a hitch, and we raised over $93,000.  I am really proud to have been a part of it, but I’m heartbroken about my friend.

So, it’s Mother’s Day.  My husband keeps asking me what I want for Mother’s Day, and really, I don’t want anything.

At Susan’s memorial service in April I met her husband and her three children, the youngest only 4.  She lives on in their bright, shining faces, so much so it took my breath away.  During her eulogy I learned one of her last statements was to encourage people to have more memories, not things.

I want for nothing.  All I have are wishes and gratitude.

I wish for Susan’s children health and happiness, but especially clear, vibrant memories of their mother that will last their lifetimes and never fade.  I am so grateful to have known her.  I am grateful for my health, my healthy children and husband, and having 42 years (and counting) of memories of and with my mother (and my father and step-parents too, for that matter).

So for this Mother’s Day, I count my blessings, and encourage all of us to collect and savor all the beautiful memories our lives are truly made of.

For more information about the important work being done by the American Cancer Society, visit their website at www.cancer.org

How much tile can one designer stand? An awful lot, my friend.  An awful lot.

A couple of weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending the Coverings 2012 Tile + Stone Experience in Orlando, Florida.  Filled to the brim with tile and stone of every variety and from every corner of the world, I soaked up as much as I could.

Some of the highlights, trends, and things that I learned:

Porcelain tile that looks like wood

Porcelain tile that simulates wood planks is still huge, and they’re just getting better and better.  The good ones look so real.  If you want something highly durable, cost effective, and with sustainable options, but you want the look of wood, porcelain tile wood planks are a good option.

Glass mosaic tiles made out of resin

Glass mosaic tiles of every variety were abundantly displayed throughout the whole show, but something new I noticed is that many of the mosaics are being made out of resin that simulates glass tile.  They’re virtually indistinguishable from real glass.  One of the tile reps. boasted that the resin tiles are so hardy and durable, you can pour acid on them and it won’t harm them (though they haven’t passed testing yet for outdoor use).

(I’m curious about the manufacturing process, however, and whether they’re environmentally friendly.  One of the installers I met told me he had worked with the resin tiles, and they smell like plastic when you cut them, and that makes me wonder about how pollutive the production process could be.  More investigation is required!)

I also saw some resin tiles that were very heavily textured to resemble rough-cut stone and wood.  They looked great, but upon close inspection, it was clear they were resin/plastic.  (That was a turn-off for me, but if used in a place where they can’t be touched, I would consider it if the price was right.)

These are real glass tiles (above).

These are resin (above).

Make like a tree….with tile?

Finally, one of the most fascinating trends I discovered is the proliferation of porcelain tile that “cleans the air- like trees.”  Titanium dioxide is integrated with the ingredients as the tiles are manufactured, and exposure to light creates surfaces that kill bacteria and purify the air.  The Italian tile company Fiandre calls their product “Active Clean Air and Antibacterial Ceramic.”  Here’s an excerpt from their catalog:

You can read more about this at their website: www.active-ceramic.com

Deutsche-Steinzeug America, Inc. calls theirs “HT Clean Air Ceramics.” (HT means “hydrotect tiles”)  They use titanium dioxide as a permanently baked in tile coating.  DSA Ceramics states that “1000 square meters of HT tile cleans the air as effectively as 70 broadleaf trees.”  The other upside of these innovations is that they’re easier to clean with plain water.

Imagine not only choosing sustainable materials that protect and conserve natural resources, but can actively improve indoor air quality. Pretty cool, high-tech stuff.

Intricate patterns, magnificent textures, innovative materials.  Put that boring old honed and filled travertine away!

Tile is bringing the sexy back.

I recently experienced a luxury so magnificent, so epic, I had to write about it.  I was shopping at a kitchen and bath showroom with a client when nature called.  I excused myself and retired to the loo, which was outfitted very nicely with a Toto toilet.  I’m quite familiar with Toto toilets, having owned one myself, and specified them many times for my clients.  They have quite the array of fabulous features available- washlet seats that turn them into bidets (with air dryers built-in!), remote-controlled flushing, and flush capacity big enough to suck down a grapefruit, yada yada yada.  It’s a toilet for pete’s sake, right?  How awesome can a toilet be?

As I sat down, however, I realized in one sublime nano-second that the toilet seat was heated.

A heated toilet seat.

If you had said it to me out loud, I would have laughed and scoffed, and said, how absolutely ridiculous is that?  Who needs that?

Well, no one needs a heated toilet seat.  Heck, in some places, just having a flushing toilet is considered a luxury.  I think I can safely proclaim that we take our sanitary-ware and indoor plumbing completely for granted.

Luxury car companies have been doing heated seats for a long time, and if I lived in a cold climate I could probably make a case (albeit a weak one) for the necessity of a heated car seat.  But I live in the hot tropics, and while we’ve come to depend on air conditioning and staying cool as an absolute necessity, a chilled toilet seat, well, that would be terrible!

I am here to tell you that, even with 80 degree heat, sitting down on a heated commode was embarrassingly fantastic.

My new definition of “luxury” is the heated toilet seat.  It’s completely preposterous, and unnecessary; a filthy display of silly materialism, and dear god, I think I want one.

Nothing marks the passage of time more obviously than the growth of children from one year to the next, as I learned this morning when my 6-year old exclaimed “O.M.G.!!” when she saw where the Elf on the Shelf landed this morning.

May your holidays be filled with traditions, new and old, that bring laughter and joy.

Did I ever mention I have a thing for chairs?  I love funky, fun, whimsical, strange, bizarre chairs.

When you’re in the throes of digestion after your sumptuous Thanksgiving feast, imagine collapsing into or onto one of these.  Enjoy!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Halloween is coming, and I’m getting excited!  Here are some cool things I’ve come across recently that are getting me into the Halloween mood.

A new take on quilts, and skulls, from Boo Davis over at Quiltsryche

A lovely line of monster supplies comes to us from the Hoxton Street Monster Supplies store in London.  (It’s really a front for the Ministry of Stories.  After squeeing with glee over the jars of guts and garlic chutney and zombie fresh mints, check out their mission.  It’s a pretty cool thing they’re doing.)

Served best on toast at room temperature (gross!!)

When yelling fire in a theatre is just not enough

Doesn't every suburban dwelling need one of these? They're not just for castles anymore!

A little more subtle than the escalating panic. The perfect enhancer for the moment when you've just opened the door to your basement, but haven't yet switched on the light.

A crow and a raven got together and made a craven. It was very romantic, I assure you.

This was one of the things that popped up when I put “steampunk wallpaper” into my google search.  Cool, kindof creepy, gears, insects, sci-fi….oh, Halloween, how I love thee!!!!

]]> http://tamaradalton.net/2011/10/halloweenawaiting-2/feed/ 0 http://tamaradalton.net/2011/08/i-was-kicked-out-of-a-furniture-store/ http://tamaradalton.net/2011/08/i-was-kicked-out-of-a-furniture-store/#comments Thu, 18 Aug 2011 16:51:13 +0000 Tamara Dalton http://tamaradalton.net/?p=790

Be nice.

Is that so hard to do?  One of my best, longest-running clients told me that this is one of the few mantras she teaches her children: “BE NICE!”

Yesterday, I was kicked out of a furniture store.  My mother and I went to see a very cool dining table she was considering purchasing for her home, and since I’m a designer, she wanted my opinion on it before taking the plunge.  This was a vintage wood table, with interesting carvings around the apron, and it had a unique extension mechanism that allowed you to lengthen the table from both ends.

I would show you a picture of it, but this shop doesn’t allow cameras or video-taping (a SUPER pet-peeve of mine), which is another reason why my mother had to bring me over there to see it.

The shopkeeper was unsmiling when we first walked in (in retrospect, not a good sign, but I try not to make snap judgments), and as soon as my mother asked him if he could show me how the extension mechanism worked, not only did he refuse, but he became immediately nasty toward us.  I’ll save you from an exact play-by-play of his comments, but after a couple of seconds of his increasing anger, I asked him, “Why are you being so hostile to us?”

This apparently served only to make him lose his temper completely, but hey, I’m not going to take abuse.  If you’ve got a bad attitude toward me, I want to know why.  He yelled at us to get out of his store, we were rude to him; he refuses to sell anything to us, just leave immediately!

To say we were baffled is an understatement.  We hadn’t done anything wrong or acted rudely in any way.  I had never even been in this shop before, and my mother’s previous experience with this same man, about this same table, had been cordial, pleasant, no problem.

But by that time, instead of continuing to try and analyze what we could have possibly done to make this guy so mad, we started to get defensive and angry in return.  As he shouted at us to leave, I said “Who is the owner here?”  To which he leaped up from his desk, came at me with his chest puffed out, and screamed at me within inches of my face, “I AM THE OWNER HERE!!  I AM THE OWNER!  DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!!  GET OUT!!”

I really was curious and astonished, and I like to understand things (and people), so I looked at him quizzically and said, “Why?”  I mean, really, I had every intention of leaving at that point anyway, and I told my mother later on that I don’t care how much you like that table, don’t you DARE give that maniac a dime, but I was so confused and curious about the bizarro world I had just entered, I couldn’t help but ask.  Pointless, I know.  You can’t argue rationally with crazy people.

My snarky and cynical inner voice said, “Dude, did you forget to take your pill today?”  But of course, I would never say that to someone’s face, because….I’m nice.  Dammit.  I also have a little roaring, vengeful sprite banging around inside my head saying, tell them the name of the store, Tammy, tell them where it is, so everyone can go leave steaming bags of poo outside his door and spam his Facebook page into oblivion. But I’m not going to do that, because…I’m nice!  Dammit!  And I believe in karma.

We learned a few minutes later, at one of the other vintage stores within the same cluster of shops, that this guy acts that way regularly and throws people out of his shop in a fit of rage all the time.

How does he stay in business?

A better question might be:  why has he chosen this particular type of business when he clearly has a severe lack of civility and maturity, and lacks the coping skills for dealing with the public in a sales setting?

I’m a designer, but everything I do is sales.  I sell ideas, products, and my “self” all day long.  What about your profession?  You may think you’re not really in a service industry, but if any part of what you do requires convincing someone to go along with it, then I’ve got news for you: you’re in sales too.

As a designer, I shop for furniture and other items a lot.  Sometimes with my clients, but most of the time, alone.  If you’re in the business of selling furniture or home goods of any sort, from a showroom, or retail store in particular, there are certain expectations I have to help you make a sale, to me, and by extension, my customers.  And that’s what we all want, right?  Commerce makes the world go ‘round, does it not?

The “no cameras or video-taping” rule needs to go.  That immediate lack of trust from the moment a potential customer walks in the door sets a negative tone right from the get-go.  With the quantity of items that I look at every day to put together a scheme, I need picture references of everything.  If your item is unique or one-of-a-kind (like an antique), and it’s not possible or convenient to come into the store over and over, how can I sell it?  If my client sees something they want to run by me, and the shop won’t let them snap a picture, then you have just wasted my time and my client’s time.  What are you so afraid of?  That someone will “shop” you?  That is not news.  People do that all the time; it’s not a crime.  But they’re more likely to come back and buy from you if you make it easy and you’re not a jerk.

Expect people to want to touch things and see how they work, especially if they actually do something, like open and close, extend and retract, raise and lower, whatever.  If you’re not comfortable with the customers doing it themselves, then please show them yourself, willingly, with a smile on your face, and not disgust and annoyance.

Be generous with samples and keep them free.  I realize this is not always possible when you’re dealing with vintage or antique items, which is why photos are so important.  But for product showrooms and stores, like fabric, tile, paint, etc, this is vitally important.  Does it increase the cost of business?  Yes, it does.  Samples are expensive to make and keep on hand, but if I can’t show it to my client, I can’t sell it. And if you make it cost me to obtain your samples, I’ll go somewhere else.

And lastly, BE NICE.  Dealing with people is hard.  They can be ornery, obnoxious, rude, condescending, the list goes on.  If you have little-to-no-patience and a short fuse, find a back room to work in, and spare the rest of us your assholery.

Well, it felt good to get that off my chest.

What about you?  Do you have a story to share?  Instead of retelling all the tales of the endless Neanderthals out there, let’s keep it positive and hear some stories about the best buying experiences you’ve ever had.

Peace!

Do you have a dark room that doesn’t get enough natural light?  Besides using light colors and mirrors (carefully with the mirrors) to reflect and bounce more light around, here is something else to try. 

Keep your lamp shades white. 

White lamp shades will help brighten and disperse the light from your fixtures more effectively.

If you’ve been blessed with “plant shelves,” one of those fabulous architectural details all the rage with builders in the 1990’s, you may be tempted to put accessories junk up there.

Please fight this urge!  Not all shelves must be filled.  There is nothing worse than crappy vignettes of decorative plates and bottles and plastic ivy trailing down from “display ledges.”

Tell me what you think.  What are some other terrible architectural details you’ve had to work around?

A watched soft-close toilet seat never closes. ~ New American proverb