Warm Buns

I recently experienced a luxury so magnificent, so epic, I had to write about it.  I was shopping at a kitchen and bath showroom with a client when nature called.  I excused myself and retired to the loo, which was outfitted very nicely with a Toto toilet.  I’m quite familiar with Toto toilets, having owned one myself, and specified them many times for my clients.  They have quite the array of fabulous features available- washlet seats that turn them into bidets (with air dryers built-in!), remote-controlled flushing, and flush capacity big enough to suck down a grapefruit, yada yada yada.  It’s a toilet for pete’s sake, right?  How awesome can a toilet be?

As I sat down, however, I realized in one sublime nano-second that the toilet seat was heated.

A heated toilet seat.

If you had said it to me out loud, I would have laughed and scoffed, and said, how absolutely ridiculous is that?  Who needs that?

Well, no one needs a heated toilet seat.  Heck, in some places, just having a flushing toilet is considered a luxury.  I think I can safely proclaim that we take our sanitary-ware and indoor plumbing completely for granted.

Luxury car companies have been doing heated seats for a long time, and if I lived in a cold climate I could probably make a case (albeit a weak one) for the necessity of a heated car seat.  But I live in the hot tropics, and while we’ve come to depend on air conditioning and staying cool as an absolute necessity, a chilled toilet seat, well, that would be terrible!

I am here to tell you that, even with 80 degree heat, sitting down on a heated commode was embarrassingly fantastic.

My new definition of “luxury” is the heated toilet seat.  It’s completely preposterous, and unnecessary; a filthy display of silly materialism, and dear god, I think I want one.

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